I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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