for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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