i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
