why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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