i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
