Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize