Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
