Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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