I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
