Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
