is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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