Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
