Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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