Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
