grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
