Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
