On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
