She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize