sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The air was thick with penises
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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