Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just google imaged poop.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
