It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize