so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
