4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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