My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think my moral compass just broke
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