You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?