he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?