after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex