The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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