It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
