you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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