hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs sedatives and a leash
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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