I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
