He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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