You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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