ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the day after is always just damage control
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize