White coat. Heels.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Do vagina's smell?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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