we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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