Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
