wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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