you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
