They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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