I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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