This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
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I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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