so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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