I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
