I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
