what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
