Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
