are you still at the devil's house?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
