I will die if light touches me.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
