Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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