Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
