In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
