I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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