no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
