update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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