What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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