i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
