You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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